Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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