Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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