so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
