Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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