just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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