and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
