I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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