First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
