it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
