u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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