Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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