you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
