new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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