But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
