It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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