You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Its about making memories worth repressing
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
