Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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