Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
