I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
