I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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