Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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