suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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