it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The uberlube is also flammable
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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