New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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