Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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