Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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