Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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