Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
