There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
