apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
