thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
