After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
