i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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