Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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