It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
