I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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