Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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