Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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