More tranny stories later!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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