I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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