Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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