I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
