ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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