I cockslap morals
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
