Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize