He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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