were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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