there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
