I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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