i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
