"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
