It's Friday. Sex?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
