i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
